How I completely lost it
Here I was.. running around like a mad person. Trying to smile while inside I felt like crying. If everyone was having a good time all would be well.
If I just could get my daughter to eat her dinner and go to bed early. And maybe there was a small chance my Mom would join her.. Then I would have a moment alone. Just me. With all the time in the world. Well .. at least an evening. Oh, how I would love an hour alone.
The next day, my head had been spinning ever since I woke up. There is so much to do in a day. My plan was to wake up early so I could start my day in peace. Reality is I overslept, as I had been so busy last night; trying to make up for the hours I “lost” by attending a training during the day, feeling I had to catch up on work late in the evening. Exhausted again.. and aching for some time just for me.
I knew I was losing it
I knew I was losing it, my grips on holding it all together. Oh, it seemed all smooth enough on the surface, but underneath it did not feel great. I felt tired. Tired of it all. So when I told my Mom we would be leaving early the next day to visit some friends, and she commented why do you always do so much, I lost it. I snapped and gave a gnarly remark. Needless to say, dinner was ruined. That is when it occurred to me: I don’t want to continue like this.
All I do is prioritise everyone’s needs before mine. I never take a timeout, just for me. I do not block any time in my diary so I can read a book. take a bath or even have a cup of tea alone. The last time I actually spend doing exactly what I want is ages ago.
Slowly but surely, I changed
Slowly but surely, I have started to turn things around. I changed things. I manage to wake up early in the mornings as I love the morning’ silence for reflecting and journaling. I plan time with my dear friends, speaking to them already revitalises me. And sometimes, I just do nothing for like 5 minutes, just stare out of the window.
I’ve started to put myself first more often. And you know what: I feel great. I am better equipped to deal with everyday demands, I don’t snap (as often) and when I do, I am quick to make the situation light again.
You are amazing
I feel amazed, I am putting myself first and allow myself to take some time off: ME-Time is part of my daily routine.
Do you feel you would love more time just for you? Are you on the verge of losing it? You don’t have to! Starting creating time to do the things you love to do! Make yourself a priority. If you struggle as much as I did, I have written down my tips to get you there. Apply for them today HERE and soon you’ll feel amazing again!