Sometimes your success takes longer because you’re unknowingly self-sabotaging. My client told me he kept hiring the right people, yet every time they were hired, they failed to meet the challenges set.
Have you ever had the feeling things in your business, your life, could have gone quicker? Wondered why on earth did something take you this long? Why do you keep procrastinating, even though you know you want badly what you’re supposed to work on?
You might be self-sabotaging.
It’s what was happening to my client, his ideas are so next-level and innovative that they’re revolutionary. And even though he knows, he’s holding himself back and not sharing this openly with his team. He’s self-sabotaging his success. As his team gets lost and doesn’t feel up to the challenges.
What Is Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage is when people do (or don’t do) things that block their success or prevent them from accomplishing their goals. It can happen consciously or unconsciously. It is an act (or the lack thereof) we do to ourselves.
You want it, yet you’re not doing it.
You want more clients, but the moment an email pops in your inbox with someone requiring your services you take 48 hours to get back to them.
Does this sound familiar at all David? Have you ever or are you even now self-sabotaging some of your success? It’s not unlikely.
Signs of Self-Sabotaging
- Worrying
- Procrastination
- Perfectionism
- Overworking
- “Self-medicating” with alcohol, drugs or pills
But also driving people away that are close to you. Sabotaging relationships whether they’re essential to your business or personal life.
David, I’m pretty sure that you may recognize some of these behaviors. I see this happening to my clients often, and I call them out on it. Especially when your behavior is unconscious, it’s very helpful to have a coach to point this out and helps you work through it.
How It Damages You
By the way, the reason why you want to work on self-sabotaging is not just the obvious, it keeps you away from your success, takes you longer to achieve your goals, and generally messes with your happiness – but more importantly- it gets worse. It defects your self-esteem, makes you lose faith, and oh does it feed the Gremlins in your mind.
Defeating Self-Sabotaging
Recognize and acknowledge
It all starts with recognition and acknowledgment. Now that you are made aware, pay attention to what’s happening in your business. When things take longer, or you feel worse – could you be self-sabotaging? Holding yourself back even though you want [… it ..] badly?
Understand the emotions
Self-sabotaging makes you feel bad. Or you feel bad and you self-sabotage. Either way, your negative emotions are a good indicator of something being off. Take stock of your emotions.
Spot the thinking / your beliefs behind your emotions
When you suddenly feel bad, ask yourself:
“What was I thinking?”
Sometimes you need to dig deeper than 3 seconds back, sometimes you read, heard, or saw something that triggered you – but it is always leading back to a thought. A thought that causes you to feel bad. Often an untrue thought too.
Change your thoughts/emotions/behaviors
Wanting to change your behavior a.k.a. stopping self-sabotaging means you need to change the way you feel by changing the way you think. Because your thoughts make you feel something that leads you to do something [or not do anything].
Develop Self Supporting behaviors
When my client thought his ideas were amazing and revolutionary, there was also an inner dialogue, a Gremlin that told him to shut up and prove it first. To not be so presumptuous. That made him feel bad. So instead of sharing his big vision over and over with his team, he shared bits and pieces – the bare minimum. Which made him feel worse as his team didn’t follow, Gremlin galore.
When he and I spoke about this, he was able to see not just the self-sabotaging behavior, but also the emotions and thoughts underneath. He then could change it.
And that brings me to the final step: take action and hire a coach! And yes, I can help.
Be the CEO of your life, work less, live more,
Yvonne
P.S.: Right now I have only two spots available in my 1-1 coaching programs that are designed to support you in achieving your next level of success by working less and living more.
Yvonne has a vast coaching experience from executives to teams to ambitious business owners.
Through her personal and business coaching programs she has helped dozens grow their businesses while drastically reducing their working hours.
And when Yvonne is not coaching, you can find her indulging in beach walks, and a sparkly glass of champagne.
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