No! I do not want to. I shook my head but made sure to look the other way. I did not want him to see my tears.
Gosh, this really ticked me off. I did not want to. Not even a tiny bit
Finally, I felt my life was right on track again. Having arranged a lot of important things. I had nice friends, we went out together and I was into running again and my business was doing well. I was on the verge of launching several great programme’s and looking forward to this. Nua and I had worked out a great routine, and all in all, I was very happy and satisfied with my life the way it was.
Until now. The bomb exploded: we were leaving London
Bye bye to the great life I had created. I felt deflated. Like all my plans for my business did not matter any more all of a sudden. As if… I did not matter as much any more; as my plans could not go through like I had imagined it.
A whirlwind of emotions
I was on a rollercoaster ride: happiness, sadness, anger, shame and pain. All these emotions kept rolling in. Most times shame won. I forced myself to stay positive and to react enthusiastically to all stories around this new job outside London. But deep down inside it felt different.
Keeping it all in – does not work
One way or the other your emotions want to be heard. So they will show up. Also, my love would not be fooled. So I had to be open and share all that I felt. It was not easy (shame) yet I felt relieved. This allowed me, us, to seek a solution. To look for something that did feel right and would be workable. For both of us. This is what did work.
I put myself last, on autopilot
As an international move requires a lot of work, I put my plans –automatically- on the back burner. Just got on with it. Make arrangements and taking care of things. Planning and drawing to do lists with actions; set priorities and work through them.
In doing so, I pushed forward what I had been working on. I made it less of a priority. First I did not even notice it, it was such a common thing for me to do. Do you do that as well? Something happens, it may not even be around you – although it does affect you. Something unexpected and there you go. You are a fixer, you’ll take care of it. You’ll help. And in doing so… you put yourself on the back burner. Again.
Helping someone is satisfying
I felt good, as when helping others, it brings great satisfaction too. It does make you feel good when you can contribute towards those that you love. But in the end, things started to not feel totally right anymore. As the launch I had planned, well I would not be able to do it as I had envisioned. The programme I wanted to revamp, I would have to do that later as well.
It was like a realisation that due to a change in someone else’s plans, I had put my plans on hold. Not even consciously. Not even that I was asked to. I just did.
Angry with myself
When I did notice it, I got upset. With me. I got really angry with myself. I had so many great plans and now I had put these on hold. Again?! This -of course- was not the first time. That time Nua did not do well in school, I had dropped everything. To help out. The times my Mom needed me, I just stopped what I was doing and went. To help. I noticed this pattern in my life. It was just my second nature: helping others and putting my plans on hold, whilst doing so. Can you relate?
I decided: no more
My plans came from inspiration. From a desire to make a contribution to this world. To help people and in doing so causing a ripple effect that would bring more fulfilment and happiness. To let people enjoy their lives more by choosing what they really want. Yes choosing you. Even in times, when you feel your whole world is upside down. Especially then! As YOU matter. But even when the whole world tells you that you matter. You still need to believe it yourself. You need to own it. That you do matter. And that is what I did! That was the solution that worked.
You need to realise that your plans are just as important as others. That you can continue to work on your ideas, who do not automatically have to move at the back burner when things change. Not even when you are ok with moving them to the end.
It is not ok
To always make yourself come second or last. Not even when others need you. Not even when it is something you love to do. As you can do both. You are able to support someone and work on your own goals. Perhaps in a different way then you envisioned. Perhaps a bit slower than you would have wanted. But still moving forward. Still going in the direction of your goals and taking steps to achieve them.
You cán have it all
I am convinced that you can have it all. That is what I have been working on these past months; very deliberately and consequently. And you know what? It has never felt so good. I have never been so proud to stay loyal to what I wanted. To build from my inspiration, to work on my ambition. I am the CEO of my life. I am determining where I am heading towards to. And it feels sooooo good.
Is that also for you?
Are you done with always putting your plans on hold? Do you no longer want to –automatically- delay your goals? Are you ready to continue working on your plans, achieving your goals irrespective of all the chaos that goes on in your life? If you are –and why would not you be-, I have something super exciting for you!
Monday 8 April we’ll start with the FREE Challenge of a week. Every day I’ll share tips and a short assignment during a live video. Which you can revert back to at any time. After taking this challenge, you will have:
- FOCUS: a clear picture of what it is YOU want to achieve
- IMAGE: you know how your life looks like once you have reached your goal
- MOTIVATION: you have decided that you are going for this for a very good reason.
- SUPPORT: you have let go off limiting beliefs
- TEAM: it is clear for you who will help you with this
In short: you know what you are doing, as it feels right for you. You are doing it in a way that suits you and which takes into account your circumstances. You are striving to get what it is you really want ánd you know you’ll get there.
Are you in? <<Register for FREE>>
Limited time investment
Your time investment is minimal. Every day a short (live) video, followed by a short assignment. If you feel you deserve to have everything in life, you’ll make sure to invest around 15 minutes each day, to work on your goals. It will bring you freedom, inspiration, fulfilment and lots of space. Register now and go for the life you want to live <<Yes I am in>>
P.S. Do you know anyone else, who can also do with some support? Send this email to them. Let me know that you have forwarded this mail and I will send YOU a great surprise!
P.S. As I am so excited about this challenge, I will also be giving away great prizes during this week. If you are an active participant, you will be able to win each day. All the more reason to join. <<Yes I will join the challenge>>
Yvonne Dam is an online life coach and career coach who helps busy, ambitious people to enjoy life. She helps them to focus on what matters in their lives and careers, in order to make more money and achieve more freedom! After feeling trapped in the corporate world, Yvonne decided to do more of what she loved and found the more she chose to do what she wanted, the happier she became. Yvonne is passionate about coaching and sharing her expertise with you so you can be liberated to fully embrace life. Ready to pause your busy life for a moment and download some happy vibes? Get my FREE eBook and feel happy!