As much as I am an optimist and can always see the good in others, I struggle to see that in myself. It’s like I have this inner voice, this inner critic that whispers things in my ear that I start to believe more and more.
I am judging myself the whole time
And I don’t like it, yet I can’t seem to stop it. Sometimes I am not even aware of it, but I might be having more negative self-talk than I should.
It’s what my coaching client told me.
Do you recognize this? Most likely, you are.
Because as humans, we all have an inner voice, a critic that’s trying to keep us safe. So they’ll tell you, “You’re not good enough”, or “That will never work”, so you hear it from yourself first before the ‘outside world’ can reject you. So painful, yet it makes sense.
We all have 60,000 thoughts on average during a day; 90% of these are repetitive. So if you’re stuck in a negative self-talk loop, it doesn’t get better.
It’s stopping you from reaching your next level of success
Now how do you stop your inner critic? You can’t. As humans, we all have an inner critical to keep us safe. But we can deal with it; here’s how.
1. Develop an awareness of your thoughts
95% of what we think is unconscious, meaning we do things on autopilot ‘without even thinking about it’. 5% of our thoughts are conscious – and that’s what we have to work with. You need to actively notice what you’re thinking to change your train of thought.
Acknowledge your thoughts. Don’t ignore them or pretend they’re not there. That won’t change them. And after all, they’re trying to keep you safe.
2. Actively think something else
Now here comes the hard part. You need to tell yourself a different story. You need to get back in control and become the CEO of your life and thoughts. You can do this in different ways:
Does this hold in a court of law?
When you just told yourself, “This is never going to work,” does this hold in a court of law? Or could someone prove otherwise? Is there evidence available that someone managed to do this? If so, tell yourself the opposite – as you just found proof.
Have a counter-voice claim the opposite
Next to the critic, introduce your raving fan. The voice of a friend or family member who loves you and always cheers you on. Let the inner critic be talked back to by your biggest fan, and feel better.
What would you tell a friend?
Is that what you would say to your best friend? Would you say it out loud?
If not, why are you saying it to yourself? Replace the inner critical statement with the advice you’d give your best friend.
Tell yourself a different story
Literally, you just told yourself it couldn’t happen? Go on a ramble and tell yourself that it will happen, how it will make you feel, and how excited you are that it’s going to happen. Just start positively reinforcing what you want to happen, even better when you say it aloud.
This may sound odd, or it did to me until I started playing with it. Walking the dog, I would record my own voice speaking to me about how something I wanted was already a reality, how I made it work – and above all, how amazing this would feel.
It’s an instant pick me up and feeling those feelings ahead of time, a great experience.
Don’t let your inner critical run the show; you can do it!
If you’re feeling you’re not making the level of progression you had envisioned, your inner critic is likely in control. Actively take steps to change this, and your transformation will start to unfold.
If you need help, reach out.
Be the CEO of your life, work less, get more.
Here to help,
PS Something has been brewing lately, and I am working on sharing this with you. It’s not entirely finalized yet. And I do know one thing: it’s going to be epic! Stay tuned.
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