Why I hate Valentine
Last week it was Valentine’s Day – the day of love and loved ones. Did you receive any postcards or gifts even?
I remember in high school I always was so freaking excited would my secret love also love me? Would he send me a post card? For years I got postcards and it made me soo happy. Until I found out it was actually my dad sending these. That did not make me feel good.
I was soo embarrassed
Then when I was a grown up it happened to me again. I was in love with someone and hoped that one day he would wake up and love me back (even though he had told me there was no chance). So when I received the most beautiful bunch of long red roses, I immediately called my best friend. He started to chuckle and said yes that is a really nice gesture. Little did I know that it was not from a secret admirer but my friend had actually sent them himself. Hearing my enthusiasm he could not bring himself up to burst the bubble. Yet he had to in order for me not to embarrass myself any further. Needless to say I felt devastated.
And even later when I was in relationships I always felt a ping of regret when there was not a grand romantic gesture, as that is what Valentine’s Day is for right? Or is not that what we are made believe?
It dawned on me: the day of love made me feel alone
A long time ago when I actually did some research into Valentine’s Day I discovered that this is also the day to show love and appreciation to your friends. And I did. It became my day to tell my friends and loves ones how much I loved them. Yet something kept missing..
Last week, I finally understood what the missing bit was: it was actually my 7-year-old daughter who made me realise it. She told me that she did not like Valentine’s Day: “ She felt left out, as she was not part of a couple (well thank Heaven’s for that)”. And I realised that this has been the effect it has had on me for years too: on the day of love it is emphasised that you are alone/single/not as showered in love as you ought to be, according to all the Valentine’s commercials. Are you with me?
What if we change it?
So let’s stop this. As feeling unloved, whether you are in a relationship or not is not necessary. And it should not be the case, not for you nor me. The reason why I say this is that I am a firm believer of: “You cannot put your happiness in someone else’s hands”. Meaning you cannot be happy only if someone else makes you happy. You cannot feel loved only if someone else loves you. It has to start with you. You feeling happy with just being you. You feeling loved because you are an amazing person, with or without being in a relationship.
So if you have not had the best Valentine’s Day ever, what are you going to do today to change it? Buy yourself the flowers, the chocolates and the gifts. Make yourself feel loved. Just by you. Especially by you. I know I did.
Be my Valentine – change your situation
If this is something you struggle with and you would love to change it; I have a special “Will you be my Valentine” gift for you: 7 days of WhatsApp coaching. You’ll be personally coached by me for 7 days using exercises, questions and insights via WhatsApp. Each day gets you one new and short WhatsApp message to improve your situation. You’ll feel amazed in just 7 days. It will be time to pop the bubbles!
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This is what Karen said
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Make it an amazing day!
Yvonne Dam is an online life coach and career coach who helps busy, ambitious people to enjoy life. She helps them to focus on what matters in their lives and careers, in order to make more money and achieve more freedom! After feeling trapped in the corporate world, Yvonne decided to do more of what she loved and found the more she chose to do what she wanted, the happier she became. Yvonne is passionate about coaching and sharing her expertise with you so you can be liberated to fully embrace life. Ready to pause your busy life for a moment and download some happy vibes? Get my FREE eBook and feel happy!